The Crisp Biscuit Blog

Too Much Sex & Violence #2

2012-01-29T04:26:00.000-08:00

The second issue of Rol Hirst’s Too Much Sex & Violence is out now, and it’s great! I drew three particularly nasty pages for this issue, and I can honestly say that I have never enjoyed drawing anything as much as I enjoyed drawing the nasty bits on my pages, which probably makes me a bit weird, considering what is going on in those panels. Other pages are provided by Stephen Prestwood, Neil Cavenham, Dave Metcalfe-Carr, Nigel Lowrey, Mark Renhard, Ryan Taylor, and Tony McGee, all of whom did an excellent job.

Rol has created some great characters for this series, has cleverly juggled the scenes to allow for a rotating crew of artists, and has produced a really, really strong script. I am a fan of Rol’s writing anyway, but I was honestly surprised by how good this issue is. It’s much better than the first issue, and that was bloody good.

TMS&V issues one and two (I also drew two pages in the first issue) are available to order from Rol for £2.50 each (including postage within the UK). Alternatively, both Gosh and Orbital in London have the first issue (Orbital definitely still have a few copies left, I’m not sure about Gosh) and if you are an Ace Comics customer, I know that Biff also has the first issue (it may be available elsewhere, but you’ll have to ask Rol). Hopefully, the same establishments will soon have this excellent second issue, too.

Bear-Man & Twinkle / Another Update

2012-01-22T02:15:00.000-08:00

Meet Bear-Man & Twinkle, the stars of a new mini-comic written by Martin Eden and drawn by yours truly, that will be coming free with issue six of Martin’s excellent comic, Spandex (which should be out before the end of February). Bear-Man & Twinkle is one of three comics I have drawn recently / am currently working on that have been written by other writers, the other two being Too Much Sex & Violence and Department of the Peculiar, both written by Rol Hirst. I have drawn three (nasty) pages for Too Much Sex & Violence #2, which should be out very soon (it’s at the printers right now), and am currently drawing two pages for #3, but Department of the Peculiar is 48 pages in total (two 24 page comics), and so far I have only drawn seven pages. As well as these projects, I am on the verge of committing myself to writing and drawing about six pages for another comic, and I have also decided that, once all this stuff is out the way, I am finally going to start drawing a graphic novel idea that I have been thinking about doing for years, but have never quite managed to get going with. Tentatively titled ‘The Embarrassing Body’, I am going to try and write at least the first part of this story while drawing all this other stuff, and as soon as all my current drawing commitments are done with, I will begin drawing it.

The upshot of all this is that I have decided to knock my weekly strip on the head for now, so that I can focus on other things. I was only ever going to produce 52 weekly strips anyway, before moving on to a longer project, so I made it about two-thirds of the way there and I at least have enough material to put together another issue of Crisp Biscuit Comics now. I will still be putting new strips (and sketches and preview pages) on this blog from time to time, it just won’t be (nearly) every week, and once I start working on ‘The Embarrassing Body’, I will probably serialise that online, too, so please do check in from time to time.

Weekly Strip #36 - The Many Hairstyles of Cecelia Doom

2012-01-03T03:14:00.000-08:00

I'm cheating again this week, by salvaging another old strip. The Many Hairstyles of Cecelia Doom is something I drew back in 2004. The original version had 32 panels and all of the panels had captions, but some of the panels were rubbish, some were a bit rude, and the captions were either obvious or unfunny. I hated this at the time but I liked some of the drawings, so I've picked 16 of the best ones (I liked the two rude ones but didn't think they were suitable for this blog), removed all the captions, and have rearranged them into a (somewhat pointless) one-page strip.

Weekly Strip #35 - The Amazing Spider-Monkey in 'With More Great Power'

2011-12-27T04:19:00.000-08:00

I'm cheating a bit this week by using an old strip, written and drawn in 2004, but it's a strip that is not currently - and never has been - on any of my own websites or blogs and has never been printed in a comic before, so most people won't have seen it. The main reason I have never bothered putting this strip on any of my websites before now is because this is a strip that I hated by the time I finished drawing it. Looking at it today, though, for the first time in years, I didn't think it was that bad. I have changed the lettering font I originally used, self-censored some of the swearing, and have missed out an unnecessary caption on the last panel - which only made the ending worse - and those small changes have made quite a difference to the way I feel about this story. Not much I can do about the hurried artwork now, though.

Weekly Strip #34 - The True Story of Christmas...

2011-12-23T03:39:00.000-08:00

Weekly Strip #33 - The 'Eck-Factor: Class of 2011 (Part Four)

2011-12-13T00:34:00.000-08:00

Weekly Strip #32 - The 'Eck-Factor: Class of 2011 (Part Three)

2011-12-12T12:27:00.000-08:00

Final four tomorrow!

Weekly Strip #31 - The 'Eck-Factor: Class of 2011 (Part Two)

2011-12-08T13:03:00.000-08:00

Weekly Strip #30 - The 'Eck-Factor: Class of 2011 (Part One)

2011-12-05T02:36:00.000-08:00

Weekly Strip #29 - The (Premium Rate) Number of the Beast

2011-11-28T08:16:00.000-08:00

This strip may have worked better if Janet Devlin hadn't been voted off of the X-Factor last night!

Weekly Strip #28 - The No.1 Rhinos' Detective Agency

2011-11-22T12:14:00.000-08:00

Weekly Strip #27 - Whatever Happened to the TV Stars Of My Youth?

2011-11-17T08:34:00.000-08:00

Weekly Strip #26 - Captain America: A Man Out Of Time

2011-11-08T15:14:00.000-08:00

Weekly Strip #25 - Halloween Parade

2011-11-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

Halloween Parade was my entry for this year's Observer / Cape / Comica Graphic Short Story Prize. It didn't win but it was shortlisted and it will be on display in Foyles bookshop in Charing Cross Road, London, from Monday November 7th, along with some of the other shortlisted entries.

Halloween Faces - Final Batch

2011-10-31T00:45:00.000-07:00

Name: Wicked Witch

Occupation: Witch

Likes: Spells, Black Cats, Strictly Come Dancing

Dislikes: Children

Name: Flaming Skull Thing

Occupation: Weight Watchers Coordinator

Likes: Healthy Eating, Smoking

Dislikes: Eamonn Holmes

Name: Invisible Man

Occupation: Peeping Tom

Likes: Women's Changing Rooms

Dislikes: Rottweilers

Name: Corpse

Occupation: Dead

Likes: Not Much

Dislikes: Being Dead, Crows

Halloween Faces - Batch #4

2011-10-30T02:17:00.000-07:00

Name: Jason Voorhees

Occupation: Nutter

Likes: Slaughtering Innocents, Mayhem, Hockey Masks

Dislikes: Cheese, Rude People, Hockey

Name: Godzilla

Occupation: King of the Monsters

Likes: Mass Destruction, the X-Factor

Dislikes: Tokyo, King Kong

Name: Zombie

Occupation: Undead

Likes: Braaaiiins

Dislikes: Katie Price

Halloween Faces - Batch #3

2011-10-29T01:27:00.000-07:00

Name: Dracula

Occupation: Vampire

Likes: Blood, Goth Girls, Hammer Horror Films

Dislikes: Mornings, Garlic, Robert Pattinson

Name: Werewolf

Occupation: Werewolf (Part-Time Only)

Likes: Walks, Bonios, Full Moons, Tearing Out Throats

Dislikes: Cats, Thunder

Name: Mummy

Occupation: Retired Pharaoh / Living Mummy

Likes: Bandages, Pyramids, Slavery

Dislikes: Mice

Halloween Faces - Batch #2

2011-10-28T00:17:00.000-07:00

Name: Pinhead

Occupation: Hellraiser

Likes: Raising Hell, Embroidery

Dislikes: Having a face full of pins!

Name: Regan MacNeil / Legion

Occupation: Schoolgirl / Demon

Likes: Ponies / Satan

Dislikes: Broccoli / Exorcisms

Name: Ghost

Occupation: Restless Spirit

Likes: Scaring People, Foreign Films, Hip-Hop

Dislikes: Yvette Fielding, Derek Acorah

Halloween Faces - Batch #1

2011-10-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

This week, I have drawn lots of monster faces to go on the wall at our local working man's club during their Halloween party on Saturday night (yes, ironically, even though I haven't done an honest day's work in years, I do belong to a working man's club). I was only supposed to do a dozen of them but I got a bit carried away and ended up drawing nearer twenty. I drew them all very quickly and they are not the greatest pieces of art I have ever produced, but I had fun doing them. I am going to post most of them here over the next few days, accompanied by the text that I wrote to go with each (A4-sized) drawing...

Name: Frankenstein's Monster

Occupation: Monster

Likes: Bride of Frankenstein, Destruction

Dislikes: Dr Frankenstein, Puppies

Name: Satan

Occupation: Fallen Angel / King of Hell

Likes: David Cameron, Fire & Brimstone

Dislikes: Peace, Love, Cliff Richard

Name: Bride of Frankenstein

Occupation: Housewife / Monster

Likes: Dr Frankenstein, Destruction

Dislikes: Frankenstein's Monster, Hairdressers

Weekly Strip #24 - All New Twenty-Bore!

2011-10-17T12:28:00.000-07:00

Too Much Sex & Violence #1 / FPI Blog Review / Weekly Strip Update

2011-10-13T06:23:00.000-07:00

Too Much Sex & Violence is a new comic written by Rol 'Pjang' Hirst and drawn by various artists, each contributing two to three pages. The first issue is available now and features art by Andrew Cheverton, Paul Rainey, Kelvin Green, Nige Lowrey, Mark Renhard, Martin Eden, Adrian Bamforth, and me, with lettering, design, etc., by Davey Metcalfe-Carr. I drew the last two pages to this issue and am about to start work on three particularly nasty pages for issue two. Get your copy of TMS&V #1 from Rol now. That's an order!

While I'm here, I would like to thank Richard Bruton for his generous review of Crisp Biscuit Comics #1, and most of my other comics, on the Forbidden Planet International Blog. It was much appreciated and really made my day.

Oh, and my 'weekly' strip for this blog will be back starting next Monday. I hadn't given up on it, I was just distracted by a couple of other projects. There may not be a new strip every week, but I will do my best. I will continue to call them 'weekly' strips, simply because 'weekly strip' sounds better than 'occasional strip'.

Weekly Strip #23 - The Green C**k Ring's Final Crisis

2011-09-05T05:25:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #22 - Meet The New 'Eck-Factor Judges...

2011-08-29T00:30:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #21 - Rise of the Planet of the Mice

2011-08-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #20 - Whatever Happened To The TV Stars Of My Youth?

2011-08-17T04:31:00.000-07:00

Crisp Biscuit Comics #1

2011-08-09T00:42:00.000-07:00

This is the wraparound cover to my new comic, Crisp Biscuit Comics #1, which is a full-colour collection of all of the weekly strips that have appeared on this blog so far (plus that 'Xmas Factor' Christmas card I put on here a few months ago). Copies are available to buy for £2.50 (including postage) by clicking the PayPal button below. That price is for UK buyers only. Overseas buyers please contact me and I'll work something out.

Weekly Strip #19 - Ultimately Frustrating Romance

2011-08-08T06:55:00.000-07:00

This is a strip I drew weeks ago - it was going to be Weekly Strip #5, I think - but I never used it, partly because the inking is terrible but mainly because I thought the original idea I had for the strip was better and intended to go back and do that instead. In retrospect, though, 'Frigid Joan's Diary' was not such a great idea, and as I don't have any other strips ready for this week - because I was at Caption in Oxford all weekend - here's 'Ultimately Frustrating Romance' anyway.

Weekly Strip #18 - Amazing Phone Hacking Fantasy

2011-08-01T07:45:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #17 - The Man With Big Nipples: "Off Sick"

2011-07-25T05:03:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #16 - The Green C**k Ring

2011-07-04T01:26:00.000-07:00

No weekly strip for the next couple of weeks (at least) as I am up against a deadline for something else I am drawing and can't afford to get distracted producing sophisticated one-pagers like this one.

Weekly Strip #15 - X-Men: Standard Parcels

2011-06-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #14 - Moths of the British Isles

2011-06-20T08:43:00.000-07:00

Title: Moths of the British Isles

Artist: R. Wells

Materials: Watercolours and felt tip pen on WHSmith drawing paper

Estimated Value: £5,000

Additional Notes: "This is believed to be the artist's first attempt at using watercolours since leaving school in the 1980s but, with practice, I believe he could become one of the great moth artists." Brian Oringbastard, curator, the Gallery of Butterfly and Moth Art, Hastings.

Weekly Strip #13 - Even More Twenty-Bore

2011-06-13T00:36:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #12 - The Cheryl Coal Tit Story

2011-06-07T03:06:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #11 - Spider Man Versus The Chameleon, The Shocker, The Lizard and Carnage

2011-05-30T01:12:00.000-07:00

Peter Pentel, AKA the Amazing Spider Man, is still fighting for his life in hospital following his recent clash with venom, so here's a look back at some of his greatest encounters.

Department of the Peculiar

2011-05-25T00:35:00.000-07:00

Here's a preview page from a super-hero comic I'm drawing at the moment. It's called 'Department of the Peculiar' and it's written by Rol 'Pjang' Hirst. This is page 5 of 48 (it's just two 24-page comics at the moment but hopefully there will be more if this does okay).

Weekly Strip #10 - The Amazing Spider Man Versus Venom

2011-05-23T00:39:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #9 - The Kidnapping of Osama Bin Laden

2011-05-16T00:16:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #8 - Amazing Alternative Voting System Fantasy

2011-05-09T00:15:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #7 - Amazing Royal Wedding Fantasy

2011-05-02T00:24:00.000-07:00

Because you demanded it: royal wedding action with a sci-fi twist!

Weekly Strip #6 - The True Story of Easter

2011-04-25T00:53:00.000-07:00

Department of the Peculiar

2011-04-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

This is a teaser image for a super-hero comic called Department of the Peculiar, written by the talented Rol Hirst, that I am about to start drawing.

Weekly Strip #5 - More Twenty-Bore

2011-04-18T01:09:00.000-07:00

The following takes place between 2:00am and 3:00am...

Love Her Madly Page 2

2011-04-13T00:43:00.000-07:00

Weekly Strip #4 - Amazing Political Fantasy

2011-04-11T00:03:00.000-07:00

Because you demanded it: hard-hitting political satire with a sci-fi twist!

Weekly Strip #3 - Meet Doctor Octopus

2011-04-04T00:22:00.001-07:00

Meet Doctor Octopus. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Weekly Strip #2 - Peter Pentel, the Amazing Spider Man

2011-03-28T01:37:00.000-07:00

Bitten by a spider during a school science exhibit, young Peter Pentel became quite interested in the creatures and read a few books about them. Now a middle-aged, unemployed man with mental health problems, he volunteers at his local zoo to gain work experience and shares his spider knowledge with school children. These children – well, one or two of them – call him – or at least called him, on one occasion – the Amazing Spider Man...

Happy Last Christmas

2011-03-24T02:26:00.000-07:00

This is an X-Factor-related Christmas card I did last year. I only sent it out to a handful of people and never put it on my website, so I thought I'd stick it on here (the Luke Cage drawing was on the back of the card and must have really confused my relatives).

Weekly Strip #1 - Twenty-Bore

2011-03-21T03:06:00.000-07:00

Meet Special Agent Jack Bowser from the Central Terrorist Nabbing Unit (it was going to be the Central Unit for Nabbing Terrorists but I eventually decided that the acronym for that particular organisation was too unsubtle even for my childish sensibilities). Jack used to be one of CTNU’s best agents, until he became obsessed with the number 24…

Love Her Madly Page 1

2011-03-19T04:11:00.000-07:00

This is the first page of my new project, Love Her Madly, which is a shortish graphic novel about living in a dull suburban town, irrational workplace crushes, and a strange girl called Celia Doom. So far, I have only drawn this page and about half of the following page, and I may never finish it, but I'm hoping that keeping track of my progress on this blog will motivate me to keep going.

Welcome to the Crisp Biscuit Blog...

2011-03-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

Hello, I’m failed cartoonist Robert Wells. Welcome to my new blog, where I intend to publish sketches, random pages from my new project – don’t piss your pants with excitement just yet, I drew the first page a couple of weeks ago and still haven’t finished the second page – and a weekly one-page strip*. I may also use this space to moan about stuff and plug comics by other people, but maybe not. Most of my older comic strips are available to read on my website (crispbiscuit.co.uk) but I probably won’t start putting any new stuff on there for a while. I also write comic reviews, along with my internet friends Paul Rainey, Rol Hirst, and Steve Miller, for Comics On The Ration. My first weekly strip will appear on Monday, but I will probably stick something else up before then. By the way, the sketch above this post is not of me, that’s special agent Jack Bowser from the Central Unit for Nabbing Terrorists. You’ll be meeting him again soon (unless you don’t bother coming back, of course).

*Actual frequency of the weekly strip may not be weekly, please check with your internet service provider, terms and conditions apply, etc.